Day Three (Roller Coasters)

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It took me awhile to get into roller coasters. When I was little, just looking at roller coaster’s would frighten me. They were too fast, too windy, and far too unpredictable. I didn’t want my legs dangling, my stomach jumping into my throat, or my body upside down. No siree, no thank you. It wasn’t until I was forced onto The Comet at Hershey Park (Hershey, PA) that my mind was changed. I remember waiting in a line that never seemed to end, feeling the nausea creeping up on me. I remember going up the first hill and wanting nothing more than to get off that death trap right that second. I remember the feeling right before the first drop where you catch your breath. And then I remember one of the most fun, exhilarating, and exciting rides of my life. I was laughing, I was screaming, and I had a blast.

I’ve been on plenty more roller coasters since then. My personal favorites being Space Mountain (Orlando, Florida) and Superman: The Ultimate Flight (Jackson, New Jersey). I love how Space Mountain is almost completely in the dark and how the Superman ride makes it feel like you’re really flying. Now, when I go to amusement parks, I try to go on as many rollercoasters as I can. As long as the drop isn’t too insane. I go for the experience, for the adrenaline high, and for the ride itself. I don’t go just for a quick thrill.

How does any of this have anything to do with my day? Unfortunately I did not spend my day going on roller coasters at an amusement park. I wish. But today I had a conversation with my friend as she went on her first date in a long while. I spent a good portion of the day chatting with a guy I’ve secretly liked for the past two years. I watched a little of ‘Awkward Black Girl’ as she had to choose between two guys. I watched ‘Bridget Jones’s Diary 3’, where she had to make the same decision. My love life is nonexistent. It’s never been existent. But, after today, I feel like it could be. Probably not with the guy I spent the day talking to, but with somebody. One day.

I used to think romance was never in the cards for me. Even now, I absolutely refuse to admit to anyone how I feel if I like them. Yet suddenly I feel like my fantasies and reality don’t have to be separate things. They don’t have to be so far apart. Bridget Jones is a fumbling chaotic character. J is awkward as hell. My friend also struggles with social anxiety. Maybe my “shyness” and “awkwardness” isn’t what’s holding me back. Maybe I’m not as far away as I thought. Maybe romance isn’t an impossible fairytale after all.

So how does this have to do with roller coasters? Roller coasters used to terrify me. The very idea of ever going on one was a foreign concept. Just waiting in line made me want to throw up. Getting on the ride itself took every ounce of courage (or stupidity) in me. But once the ride started…it was worth it. I wanted to go on all the roller coasters. See how each one differed from each other. Enjoy each ride for what it was and I never stopped talking about it when it was over. Life is scary. Life is fast, unpredictable, and intimidating as hell. But that doesn’t mean it isn’t worth the ride.

“Everything you want is on the other side of fear”-Jack Canfield

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