Day Four (Freedom)

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I remember one of the hardest transitions to make from High School to college was the transition from living under a structured schedule to having the freedom to make my own decisions. It took a long time before I was able to get the hang of time management. But there was something liberating about being able to eat what I wanted when I wanted. To call up friends at random to hang out. To decide when I wanted to study and how. To choose what activities I wanted to get involved with and which ones I would rather skip. To sign up for classes at times that were convenient for me and even getting to choose the teacher.

It’s only Day Four, but I can already tell that I am going to have more freedom than I’m used to. Today I worked at my mom’s cousin’s office doing data entry. Then I met up with my mom for lunch. Then I watched a movie with one of my best friends. Then I had dinner. Then I worked on some writing. Then I talked to a couple of friends online. Then I sat down to write this entry. I easily could have chosen not to do any one of these things. I received two e-mails, one from an internship I had applied to and another from the job I started a couple of months ago. I could easily have chosen not to apply to either of these places. My fate is entirely in my own hands.

This idea is staggering. My life is now officially my own. I am no longer obligated to follow one specific authority. Sure, I have to follow the law. Society operates by a certain amount of order. But even the government currently is a mess. A lot of my personal destiny, more than ever before, is in my own hands. I can finally stop just getting by following the guidebook. It’s about time I grab the pen and write my own story.

“I’m through accepting limits
Cuz someone says they’re so
Some things I cannot change
But till I try I’ll never know
Too long I’ve been afraid of
Losing love, I guess I’ve lost
Well if that’s love
It comes at much too high a cost

I’d sooner buy defying gravity
Kiss me goodbye, I’m defying gravity
And you can’t pull me down!”

(Elphaba, Wicked)

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