Day Twenty (Spontaneity)

z10

Spontaneity is not my strong suit. I’m actually quite terrible at it. I may act as though I enjoy taking chances and seeing what happens, but in reality I am a very cautious person. I overthink things, I plan out decisions, and I prepare for all the possible consequences. It’s the only way to survive in this world with social anxiety. I do not like jumping without looking and letting things happen the way they will. That idea terrifies me.

However, I have found that the best moments in my life often come randomly, without any preparation, and on a whim. I met a lot of my best friends by chance. I ended up joining the Hillel at my college after a night where I went bowling after services with relative strangers. I found some of my favorite books by random selection. I had one of the most life-changing summers when I agreed to take on a part in a show because I had nothing else to lose. I hate doing things without thinking them through from every angle first. This leads to a lot of panic and I get frazzled and overwhelmed very easily. But doing things without planning it, without a doubt, has created some of my absolute best memories, best friends, and best experiences.

Today was a spontaneous day. I got to work and found out that I’d gotten an e-mail earlier that day saying that I didn’t have to come in. So I filled out my summer hours while I was there and planned on heading home for a quiet night. Then my boss, out of nowhere, suggested that I stay and watch a movie since I was already there. He even let me see the newest blockbuster, Wonder Woman (which is pretty impressive, considering I work at a movie theater that’s pretty stringent about seeing movies that will most likely be sold out). I called up one of my best friends and the two of us went to see the movie. After the movie was over, I pointed out a couple of the coworkers I have told stories about and introduced her to a manager I talk a lot about. I then headed home, cleaned up my resume, and watched a little Doctor Who. What started off as a boring day became a really awesome one.

Sometimes life needs a little bit of random chaos. A little insanity. Moments of “sure why not”. I remember thinking in 8th grade that the strongest two words I could ever think were “fuck it”. Then I’d go and do the thing. I remember auditioning for Aladdin a couple years later and having the choice of audition songs be between “A Whole New World” and “Friend Like Me”. “A Whole New World” was the safe choice. On a whim I went with “Friend Like Me” and I still remember the pianist’s shocked face. Did I get the part? Hell no. I didn’t even get a callback. But it was a lot more fun. Life needs a little randomness. A little insanity. A little spontaneity. It’s in the most surprising places that the greatest moments lie.

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