Day Seventy-Two (Busy)

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It’s funny that only a few days after writing an entry titled “Boredom”, I am now writing an entry titled “Busy”. You’d think that, my life being fairly uneventful and listless currently, I wouldn’t have much to say on the concept of business. Even so, my life currently feels like a delicate balancing act. Currently, I’m trying to balance my sanity, social life, two jobs, and a volunteering experience. All of a sudden my one job has shuffled me into the “experienced workers” group and is giving me more hours. I still have a responsibility to the volunteering experience both for moral and practical reasons. It looks great on my resume and I made a commitment. Integrity is one of my core values. Even so, I pretty much only make it up there once a week. I really should be going to the other job more as well, but that has also been demoted to once a week. My social life is practically nonexistent, but I try and make an effort to get out and see people maybe once a week. I’m also forcing myself to keep up on my book and my tv show, for my mental well-being. It may not seem like a lot, but sometimes it certainly feels a bit overwhelming.

When I was in college, “busy” was a regular word in my lexicon. Oh my god was I busy all the time. I had two jobs, an internship, five classes, and two clubs to balance. I was constantly trying to slice up my hours into a nice and easy schedule that balanced all of my different responsibilities. It didn’t help that I’d then waste a couple hours either reading, watching TV, or writing irrelevant lists. Or just wasting time on Tumblr. How I made it through four years of college is a miracle. The fact that I’m considering pursuing a Doctorate scares the everliving crap out of me. How will I find time to read all the books I want to read? Write all the stories? See my friends? Stay involved in theater? How can I do it all?

Despite the overwhelming stress and the constant fear that everything will eventually lose balance and come crashing down…being busy has it’s perks. Being busy keeps the other, not so good, thoughts from suffocating me. Being busy keeps me away from my own mind for a little bit. I get some experience, some money, some fresh air, and some socialization. It’s not all bad. It’s distracting, honestly. It’s like a video game. I’m just gaining experience points so I can eventually level up. I’ve taken on a little more than I can chew at the current moment, but it’s not like I can back out of any of my responsibilities. I’ve just got to keep juggling the responsibilities and making sure that every single responsibility gets my time and effort. Even if it’s a little stretched thin. I’ve done it before and I can do it again if I have to. Not like I have much of a choice.

Life is hard. Life is busy. Life is a lot. But it’s better to be a lot than to be nothing at all. Better to constantly be on the move than standing still. As long as you’re moving, you’re going somewhere. So what if I’m a little overwhelmed? I’m usually a little overwhelmed. Better than the boredom, yeah? So I’ll keep plodding along for now. It’s like the beginning of any novel or series. It starts out with the boring filler episodes, before things suddenly speed up and get exciting. But you’ll never get to the good parts if you don’t suffer through the slow ones first. “Just keep swimming” and all that 🙂

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