Day One-Hundred-Ten (Going Out)

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Today, for the first time in a long while, I was invited to go out by two separate friends. Of course, I had work from 9-5 and I have work from 9-5 tomorrow as well. So my time for going out was very limited tonight and I have to be up early tomorrow. The one friend was having a get together for her birthday in the afternoon. I was unable to make that because I would be at work at the time. The other friend was having the get together an hour away late at night, which was impossible due to the fact that I have work tomorrow. Also, I’m seeing those friends tomorrow anyway.

Going out has always been an interesting process for me. I enjoy seeing friends and I make a point to try and keep in touch with the people who matter to me. I don’t abandon friendships easily. But I also desperately need my alone time. When I was at camp, I constantly ran into this problem. Once the kids were asleep, the counselor’s would sneak out and meet up to talk about their days and just joke around. I honestly loved going to see the other counselors and getting to be a part of this wonderful group. At the same time, I loved having quiet “me time” after a long day with my cabin going from event to event. It was a difficult choice every night, choosing between alone time and socialization.

For the week, I chose to be an extrovert. I don’t know if or when I’ll ever see the people from the camp again and I wanted to make the most of that week. Also, my one co-counselor kept peer pressuring me into going out and living life to the fullest. After getting home, I’ve felt exhausted. I have to recover both physically and socially. My ears are still clogged, my nose is still running, and I still have permanent bags under my eyes. At the same time, I’m still emotionally exhausted and so done with everyone. I have to catch up on my alone time and I have four days straight of work. Not a great combination.

I need a lot of alone time. The idea of getting together with the same large group all day, or multiple days in a role, is unfathomable to me. Unless it’s like camp and you will only see this group for one week of the year or if you’re on a field trip and you’re far away. Other than that, I need my “me time”. Seeing people for a few hours every few days is more than enough for me. I used to spend all day in college with the same group and then all night with them. It was horrible. I spent about a month doing that before deciding that I had to either avoid them during the day or avoid them at night. All day with the same people was not for me. I didn’t even attend one party in college, either.

Going out can be great sometimes. I love seeing friends, especially when I spend time with only a few friends having nice deep conversations. I love being a part of a group, especially when we’re hanging out late at night with nowhere else to go. I absolutely love hanging out with friends. I just need some balance. Or, more time alone than with other homosapiens.

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